i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i drank out of a bidet.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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