You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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