Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
