Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
