dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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