Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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