have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
