Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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