Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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