I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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