Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
high people should be assigned attendants
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
