i may or may not be watching the land before time
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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