He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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