Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize