Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we made out on top of his cat.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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