I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
