I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
