You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
