he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
