what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
