I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
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