my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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