So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Your penis caused this!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
