i just had sex bonerless
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
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I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
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We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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