I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
