Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
