i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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