i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
