Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
