the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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