I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
