we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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