The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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