Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
