I cockslap morals
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize