Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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