....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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