i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
