whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
