just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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