dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
