Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
