DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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