When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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