OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Buhtt sex?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
