guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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