exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
