She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize