Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
