"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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