i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
