just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
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Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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