Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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