My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
worst night to have a conscience
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What happened to fro yo and sex?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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